God is not an upgrade

One of my most important realizations in my faith was that God is not just a support for life’s adversities. He is also not an upgrade for life, not a life plus God upgrade. No, he is the all-changing greatness that wants to permeate all of life, the all-changing power. No life plus, no support in adversity, no embellishment, but the all-changing power.

In depth, I realized what it is all about: What is God’s will for our lives? That we become more like him, a change into the character of his Son. When I understood that back then, my whole way of thinking changed.

The inconvenient truth about training fields

When confronted with unpleasant things, I sometimes thought that God didn’t mean well. And then I understood: yes, he means well, because what challenges me, what is perhaps even difficult, is an important path with God. Because the good sides, well, I can deal with them. The others are training grounds, and good ones at that.

Because this gives rise to moments in which we rise above ourselves, in which we feel happiness and gratitude. When a battle has been fought, when we understand: Wow, we did something completely different than usual. Or even achieved something great that we didn’t think we could. Or sometimes the calm and level-headed realization: That was different. That was good.

What two and a half years of war can do to you

And so I remember the times during those difficult two and a half years when I remained steadfast, even though I felt otherwise. When I lived in hope, even though the situation in the war looked anything but good. But also times when I made decisions that were unpleasant but necessary.

I grew in these moments. It’s these things that make me grow.

I am not a lone fighter. It makes sense to have a mentor, like I have, and friends, and of course your own partner. But we have to understand: Ultimately, we decide and bear the consequences.

My willingness to allow God to shape me, to understand that what he does with me, what he confronts me with, will lead to good, even if it sometimes doesn’t feel like it at all. In retrospect, when I seriously reflect, when I seriously deal with myself and what I have experienced, I experience what has grown in me.

Puzzle pieces become a picture

A picture emerges from puzzle pieces. The series of experiences, realizations, the deep imprint, but also exchanges, important sermons, words from friends and companions, but also life in the relationship with my wife and our children. This has resulted in points on which much of my life is based. They have become an important foundation of my personality in difficult crises. Not only routines, but also character traits are an asset.